A dream... [entries|friends|calendar] Cynical Pink [ website | Otaku6.net ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Before these words can make me cry... [29 May 2005|12:54am] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | Semi-charmed Life - Third Eye Blind ] How do I get back into, the place where I fell asleep inside you? How do I get myself back to the place where you said... I want something else... to get me though this... life... Old red roses, dry and dead

... [12 Oct 2004|09:32pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | On the way down - Ryan Cabrera ] THE ULTIMATE SILENCE October 12, 1998 Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual. What will you do to end the silence? Click here to post this on your own page or weblog Old red roses, dry and dead

Rain [07 Sep 2004|12:57am] [ mood | cold ] [ music | What I am - Edie Brickell ] I have no fame I have no form I have no home... I will take your hand With these ethereal fingers I will call you With this soundless voice If only I could Embrace your flame Inside this empty heart... Old red roses, dry and dead

LOL [05 Aug 2004|01:26pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Stray - Wolf's Rain ] Star Wars LJ Style! by Eilwen Username You would be... C-3P0ChewbaccaDarth VaderGreedoHan SoloLeia OrganaLuke SkywalkerMon MothmaObi-Wan KenobiPalpatineR2-D2Wedge Antilles The Ewoks would be led by... dogma_13 Alderaan would be blown up by... razorfortheweak The Ewoks would be blown up by... cho_hakkai You would be trained in the Force by... imadoki_kyo You would have a lightsaber duel with... inviztible In the end, you would defeat... evilgecko And leave as ruler of all creation... ai_aoi Quiz created with MemeGen! Go Tammy! Old red roses, dry and dead

^__^ [06 Jun 2004|03:22pm] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | Mmmm same song I listen to all the time now... ] Love is never wrong. 2 Wilted petals fall instead| Old red roses, dry and dead

Weep, I just keep going down hill [12 May 2004|08:52pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | This Love - Maroon 5 ] Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... Category Your Score Average Self-Lovin' 45% When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself 65.1% Shamelessness 52.4% It takes a couple of drinks 79.4% Sex Drive 52.6% A fool for love, but not always 77.8% Straightness 32.1% Done the nasty, but not creatively 44.9% Gayness 23.2% Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame 83.7% Fucking Sick 77% Refreshingly normal 90% You are 48.59% pure Average Score: 72.7% Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up! Old red roses, dry and dead

I miss love [06 May 2004|11:51pm] [ mood | listless ] [ music | Loss of me - Nobuo Uematsu ] Fuu... 3 Wilted petals fall instead| Old red roses, dry and dead

just updating [10 Apr 2004|04:01pm] I don't want the lj people to think I abandoned this account ^^; Old red roses, dry and dead

^^ [04 Mar 2004|03:41am] [ mood | amused ] ::snort:: Gakkun is love, sex, really hot, Naked. 1 Wilted petals fall instead| Old red roses, dry and dead

Found this [04 Mar 2004|03:36am] [ mood | amused ] George W. Bush is Hate Old red roses, dry and dead

V___V [03 Mar 2004|01:54am] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Fallen ] ::has much anger for Pencil Dick Lard Ass DuWayne:: I'm so glad I got to break things at work... Old red roses, dry and dead

One Year [18 Feb 2004|11:33pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Breathing - Yellowcard ] Yellow Flowers~ For Ashley I dream of sunny days Where I see you again I dream of you embracing me And calling me your friend I dream of yellow flowers And of forests full and green And a meadow in the distance Where the moutains can be seen I dreamed you never left me And that you were still around That you never lay there bleeding Slowly dying on the ground That I never heared your mother cry She never had to watch you die There never was a broken tree Oh, that you never had left me No scarf, no glass, no broken friends No garden marking your life's end The yellow flowers grow there too Reminders of how God took you... Old red roses, dry and dead

::violently kills someone:: [26 Jan 2004|10:52pm] [ mood | infuriated ] [ music | Poem - Taproot ] Goddamn mother fuckers!!! I have to change all my fucking passwords now! AAAHHHHH!!!! ::hate hate seeth seeth:: 1 Wilted petals fall instead| Old red roses, dry and dead

so [18 Dec 2003|11:58pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Say it Ain't so - Weezer ] I found out the other day via someone I work with who is a friend of the Steffans that Kelly was sentenced to 5 years? If that's true I have to say... I'm glad. I'm glad it wasn't more. I heared she could get deported and have up to 25 years in prison. I'm glad she only got 5. I mean I might feel a little better if she didn't even have that, I mean it's not like we were best buddies or anything but we were freinds, if distant ones. Kelly is being punished enough by the memory of what she did... I guess you could say I'm a bit torn in that respect... I was infinately closer to Ash than I was to Kelly... but I also know Kelly and Ash were pretty good friends too. I still can't look at a picture of Ashley without crying, but I still look. I want to see more... to have at least that much. Some small sliver of her left in my life aside from scattered notes on a bulliten board and a tarnished ring. I miss her so much... I'm glad we got to spend some time together... I used to feel guilty that I would skip her out of school to go watch anime or shopping or go to mc donalds... but now I cherish it. It was more time I had with her, more memories... something else I can keep in my heart. I loathe the thought that I fought with her... I hate that I wasted so much time. I don't want anything like that ever again. I don't want to have to regret anything, I don't want to fight. Right here and now I appologize for everything I have ever done to anyone. Especially Abby, I owe Abby so much... I have so much to appologize for. That I wasn't strong, that I couldn't deal with anything, that I ever said anything about her that was negative. That I lied... I was never mad at you for anything other than what I read in your journal... everyting else was just stupid childish jelousy. On New Years what seems like forever ago... I wasn't angery at you for the reason you assumed... I covered it up with that, I used that as an excuse. The truth was that I was insanely jelouse that you and Molly were being so touchy Feely that night When she was playing with your hair I wanted to scream... It's just the way I am I guess... Possesive... I just wanted you to know I never hated you... not ever... I tried to tell myself that I did because it hurt too much to think that I was feeling pain from our break up and you seemed to feel nothing... you wrote things like how you never felt for me and it hurt me feelings and my pride and I lashed out at you. I had no right to do that and I am so sorry... I know this is a long time coming and that you may never read it... I know that it may be to late and that you truly might dispise me... But I still needed to say it. I always loved you. I'm sorry. 3 Wilted petals fall instead| Old red roses, dry and dead

I live! [12 Nov 2003|10:03pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | White Flag - Dido ] -White Flag- I know you think that I shouldn't still love you I'll tell you that But if I didn't say it Well I still have felt it Where's the sense in that? I promise I'm not trying To make your life harder I'll return to where we were But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love, and always will be I know I left too much Mess and distruction To come back again And I cause nothing but trouble I understand if you Can't talk to me again And if you live by The rules of it's over Then I'm sure that that makes sense But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love, and always will be Oh, will we meet I'm sure we will Our love was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tounge And you will think That I've moved on I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love, and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love, and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love, and always will be Old red roses, dry and dead

pfft [27 Aug 2003|01:47am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Duvet - BoA ] heres some amusement... What Is Your Battle Cry? Running over the desert, brandishing a vorpal blade, cometh Jadedroseseal! And she gives a spectacular howl: "Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I shall fill the world with the stench of death!" Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ? created by beatings : powered by monkeys Old red roses, dry and dead

Mmmm [20 Aug 2003|01:45am] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | Bottom of a Bottle - Smile Empty Soul ] I've been scared and lonely I ask myself "is something wrong with you?" My girlfriend told me "I need some time alone to deal with issues" But something makes me carry on It's difficult to understand What I always wanna find I do it for the drugs I do it just to feel alive I do it for the love That I get from the bottom of a bottle You always call me I tha'd be how I made it through the day I'm always falling I guess it's just gods way of making me pay But something makes me carry on It's difficult to understand What I always wanna find I do it for the drugs I do it just to feel alive I do it for the love That I get from the bottom of a bottle But something makes me carry on It's difficult to understand What I always wanna find I do it for the drugs I do it just to feel alive I do it for the love That I get from the bottom of a bottle And I wonder why I try and I wonder why I bother And I wonder why I cry Why I go through all this trouble I do it for the drugs I do it just to feel alive I do it for the love That I get from the bottom of a bottle I do it for the drugs I do it just to feel alive I do it for the love That I get from the bottom of a bottle Old red roses, dry and dead

Faint [30 Jun 2003|11:58pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Faint - Linkin Park ] I am a little bit of loneliness A Little bit of disreguard Hand full of complaints but I cant help the fact that everyone can see these scars I am What I want you to want What I want you to feel But it's like no matter what I do I can't convince you to just believe this is real So I let go watching you Turn your back like you always do face the way you pretend that I'm not But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got I can't feel the way I did before Dont turn your back on me I wont be ignored Time wont heal this damage anymore Don't turn your back on me I wont be ignored I am a little bit insecure A Little unconfident cause you dont understand I do what I can But sometimes I don't make sense I am what you never want to say But I never had a doubt It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you For once just to hear me out So I let go watching you Turn your back like you always do face the way you pretend that I'm not But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got I can't feel the way I did before Dont turn your back on me I wont be ignored Time wont heal this damage anymore Don't turn your back on me I wont be ignored Now hear me out now you're going to listen to me like it or not Right now, hear me out now Your going to listen to me like it or not Right now I can't feel the way I did before Dont turn your back on me I wont be ignored I can't feel the way I did before Dont turn your back on me I wont be ignored Time wont heal this damage anymore Don't turn your back on me I wont be ignored I can't feel Dont turn your back on me I wont be ignored Time wont heal Don't turn your back on me I wont be ignored Old red roses, dry and dead

amasing what a little spacing will do for you [20 Jun 2003|08:05pm] not that they both aren't true... jaded rose seal Magic Number 8 Job Serial Killer Personality Focussed And Driven Temperament Best Not To Ask Sexual Just Say No Likely To Win The World Cup Me - In A Word Compassionate Colour Brought to you by MemeJack Old red roses, dry and dead

[20 Jun 2003|08:04pm] jadedroseseal Magic Number 16 Job Most Hated Person - Ever Personality Rainy Day Temperament Steely Sexual Whatever, Whenever, Whoever Likely To Win The World Cup Me - In A Word Evil Colour Brought to you by MemeJack Old red roses, dry and dead

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